Homecoming

Hi, it has been almost 4 years since my last post. Right now it's 2020, the year which almost killed us. I woke up today thinking how I have no where to hide, run or sleep peacefully. I have been so cruel not only to mysel but also to my future. I have always been so insecure about everything makes me almost to kill myself. But I hold on to life a little more thinking I might be able to find something which will make me love meself more. All my life I was pushed towards The Great Silence, so I try to run towards chaos thinking might reach the middle ground. Patience accompany me but I chose to be impulsive. I was delusional thinking that I have so less time to do so many things. Time always wanted me to wait, It is I who pushed all boundaries. There was a time when I left yellow was my colour but now nothing soothes me more than the blues. I live my life in between the blues and grays. I feel my partner has returned in my life again, The Silence has came back to me again. It is comforting yet so disturbing. I feel replaceable, that's how nature works but for once in my life I long for stability and mid grounds. I want to be yellow again. I want to be happy again.

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